We often talk about not being “ready” to take a big action, such as:
- asking someone out
- quitting our job
- starting a business
- having a child
- some other scary leap?
Any therapist or coach will ask us “Are you ever truly ready?”
What we really mean when we say we’re not ready is that we’re not yet willing… willing to accept whatever outcome may result from the action.
- We’re ready to ask someone out when we’re willing to accept they may say no.
- We’re ready to quit the job and start our own business when we’re willing to accept that it may fail but want to try anyway, even if we’ll have to get a job again.
- We’re ready to have a child when we’re willing to accept that our child may not be perfect, that we won’t be perfect, that we’ll lose our independence, and that being a parent may be the hardest thing we ever do.
And that willingness often only comes after some self introspection and deep work.
- Being willing to ask someone out and be ok if they say no requires a healthy dose of self-worth, the belief that your worth is not dependent on other people’s opinions of you.
- Being willing to quit a job and experience a lack of security requires self-esteem, confidence in your own skills, talents, and abilities to land another job, or sufficient planning for the near future.
- Being willing to start a business venture may come when the fear of regret for not starting is greater than the fear of regret of failure.
Sarah Bareilles had it right when she sang:
I am not scared of the elements, I am under-prepared
But I am willing, and even better I get to be the other half of you
—I Choose You – The Blessed Unrest